Be free little girl
Whos blonde hair will be seen in every flash of light
Be free to fly away
Please take the world and run

Be free and spread those wings
Take your life and let those bells ring
Follow your heart and stay on your path
If you stray away you wont fall to far
From heavens arms
May you please be free

And when you feel like it’s the end
And they’ve taken all they can
Remember you are you
And when you fall I will catch you
Your story will spread the world

So run little girl
Be free
While you can
That blond braid of yours will change the world
Change how they see
Make them believe
So please be free

Why are some people so ignorant.

I just read an artical about how in some countries they are worshiping hitler and selling Nazi merchandise what the heck is wrong with our world.
heres the link
http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/04/21/the-return-of-hitler/

Bucket List

what to do with the rest of my life...
1. Learn to play piano
2. Build a guitar
3. Design the inside of a house for someone
4. Paint a picture not for school
5. Live in europe for a year
6. Plant a garden
7. learn to water skii
8. Go meet my baby cousin in Arizona
9. road trip with my friends
10. Record a full length cd even if it doesnt sell still want to do it
11. Learn another language( havent decided what one)
12. Graduate High School
13. make my own candle
14. hold a chimpanzee
15. horseback ride on a beach
16. Kiss in the rain
17. go camping
18.Take a year and see the world
19. go on a mission trip
20. Visit Abbie in Michigan
21. Photograph someones wedding
22. sleepwalk
23.go barefoot for a day
24. write a country song
25. read an entire book
26. quit starbucks
27. Play a coffee house
28. swim with sea creaters
29. do a handstand
30.sleep under the stars

this is the view from our hotel in berlin germany. this is adorable<3

thoughtlessly full

I need somthing to inspire me. I have so much that could but it always ends up fading away or meaning less to me everyday. Somedays i dont know how to feel about things like my mom going away for the weekend with her new boyfriend. Am i happy for her? am i mad? do i really care? Is she going to spend more time with him and leave it to me to take care of the house and stuff more? i waisted so much of the last year an a half being angry at my parents for splitting so when i got back from europe i decided i wasnt going to let it bother me any longer. But a few weeks have passed and im starting to feel the weight of it again, and i hate it. Maybe its a combination of things, like school, work, and family. Its not easy to balance it all and i keep planning it out in my mind that this is how you can balance it all this is how it should be but i give up before i start. I want to be able to have the time to sit down and write a song but the only time I have had recently was at 130 am and I was so tired i got frustrated with my self. Any of the daylight hours are spent, cleaning to please my mother and pay her back, doing homework or slaveing away in starbucks. Ok its not that bad I just wish i could make money doing somthing that bettered the world in one way or another.
Then there is school. I feel like school is my excuse for everything, for not going to the gym, for being tired for not spending time with friends or family. But its not really an excuse when its true. I dont care anymore but i care enough to leave it to the last minute and still do it. im 10 assignments behind and i dont even know how i will ever catch up. im getting good marks but when i get a bad mark i dont care anymore. The thing that pisses me off the most is writers craft. Dont get me wrong its a great class, if you want to know HOW to write. But this entire semester has been we get an assignment we get time to work on it we hand it in ....REPEAT! then we have to write our own book with all these steps leading up to writing our own book. It sounded like a great course at the begining but now i feel like im writing to please someone and thats not what writing is for. Writing is a way to express emotion and show it in a creative way to people so that they can relate or think about writing not judge it and give it a mark out of 100. I understand that spelling and gramer and structure are important but what is that teaching me about the future. How will this knowledge help make the world better? I dont even need this class to graduate! I am so close to being done high school and its taking forever to get there. I know i should be thankful to have the opportunity for an education but why dont they try teaching us things that matter to real life. Just saying.

Not just a dish

It was A blue dish with white flowers surrounded by grey pots of all differant sizes. This blue dish with white flowers caught my eye. It was in the left corner of this encased liked room. hidden by grey dull pots that to me ment nothing. This blue dish with white flowers suddenly became part of a family with a wife a husband and two kids lving in a small appartment above their family owned shop. That blue dish with white flowers was theirs and they had it taken away from them along with many other belongings. They had it taken away and never returned. This dish is all that remains of this family.
Warm tears streamed down the side of my face and there was no stoping them. these pots and dishes were the last things we saw of the bluk of human remains from Aushwitz one. The hair made me feel sick espesially when i saw a blonde piece of hair surrounded by grey locks that once belong to real people. People just like you and me. Seeing this in a picture is a completetly differant feeling then seeing it right infront of you. There was so much hair,it disgusted me made me want to throw up and from then on everything was so real. there were so many shoes and suitcases it wasnt easy to take it all in. Thats when it hit me and visually occured to me the number of people who suffered through the holocaust.
I feel like everything here we take for grantite and we forget o appriciate our lives. In europe i found that what they value are the importnat things like family, friends, well being and happiness. Here we are all so focused on geting an education right away so that we can get a good jobh and make lots of money and we tend to forget who we are and why we are. This seems to be the general focus of our society. But i wonder if things were differant here would traveling to europe still be so magical?
this blue dish with white flowers has made me thankful. Thankful to be alive, live in a safe place, have a family and thankful for having the opportunity to travel. the materialistic things stop mattering the day you start putting the non materialistic things first. yes the thing that made me cry was a materialistic thing but it wasnt the dish itself it was the people who that could have belonged to. It was the story and the metal image i created that made the dishes and pots so emotional.
Traveling to europe was the trip of a life time and i will never forget it. the friendships we made and the bonds and knowledge we gained was worth not being in the school play with all my friends. I woulnt trade anything for this trip it truely was life changing.
so who would have ever thought that a blue dish with white flowers could make you think so much? and who know a dish could change a person.

today i realized the importance of friends. My friend baught me a bracelet in ottawa with a cancer sign on it,..im a leo but i dont care its the best souvinere. My friends are the best thing. they tell me the truth and things i dont necessarly wanna hear. we all come from differant walks of life but yet we can all get along and make eachother happy
xo

Ok i am going to rant about EPIC theatre
i know you might have no clue what that is ...well news flash NEITHER DO I!
i come home from an amazing trip and i have this lame ass drama assignment thrown at me and by going tomorrrow i am doing my drama teach a "favour" im so lost and i cant even think straight i havent finished learning lines and you know what I DONT FUCKIN CARE!!
i have an audition on sunday for a real theatre and i should be worried about that not drama

Just saying:)

thats all

First time?

so i was finally convinced to come on here and blog even tho i swore i never would, it kinda looks fun. i dont really know where to start but i guess i could start with the fact that i just missed 11:11 again. it happens to me everyday i say ill wish at 11:11 and i always miss it. ohwell. I guess i could talk about how much i hate school and how much its ruining my future. i just got back from a trip to europe and i have 7 papers, 2 books and a drama script due tomorrow. I dont know how i will ever catch up but im sure i will manage. usually i actually care about school and my marks somewhat but since i have been home i have realized how much more there is to life then getting good grades going to a good school and then getting a job. now that i have crossed the ocean i feel almost fearless. i have the travel bug and i want to leave and go somewhere else asap. While in europe we went to Berlin, warzawa, Krakow and prague and i feel like being there i was able to be happy again, try new things, and most of all i think if anything i learnt allot about myself. the last year and half of my life hasnt been easy, easier then many people im sure but for me my parents divorce became my excuse for everything and my reason for not doing somthing. I let someone elses problems escape on to me and i missed out on a few months of my life. But im differant now, this trip changed me. While i was there i was happy there wasnt a time in that entire 10 days where i felt sad about my problems or disapointed in my life back home. I forgot about all the materialistic things and all the stress and i was so content. Of course i felt sad when i saw the concentration camps but i think thats what helped me realize all of this that there is so much more pain and heartache in the world and i am just one person so if i continue to only think about how much my dad pisses me off or how weird it is for my mom to have a boyfriend i am eliminating any opportunity i have to be me and live MY life. yes i know there will still be days when i feel like its the end of the world and its all mom and dads fault but i know somehow that feeling wont be coming around here any time soon,. im finally happy with my life. I have decided im not going to stress myself out with school and being the best in my drama class because its not worth it. I know where i am going in life and all i need is to just graduate. i think sometimes people focus so much on what other people want from them and dont focus on what they want from themselves because ultimatly isnt it your life?